Thursday, April 23, 2009/10:37 PM
I'm feeling horrendously sorry for myself today. so excuse my pitiful whining today.
when I arrived home at about ten yesterday, so exhausted from training, my family was practically asleep and hardly acknowledged my presence. when I went into the kitchen, the dining table was empty. they didn't save me anything to eat that night. I guess they assumed I went out to eat or something.
Hungry, I went to bathe. When I went out, I went to my laptop to do my project work. At about two, I slept. I aimed to wake up at four so I could do my homework. when I woke up at six, all hell broke loose and I couldn't find anything. My assignments were undone, and I was completely unprepared for everything.
that's when I stopped rushing, fell to my knees and cried.
when I pulled myself together I went to meet syaf and I cried again because I was absolutely broken. nothing was coherent in my life anymore. for the first time in my life, I didn't want to feel the soft flow of tears on my cheeks. I couldn't show anyone, especially myself that I failed. I couldn't fall or shatter. I prayed for a salvation from all my woes.
why do we crumble?
help. I don't want to cry again.
I never once in my life felt such stress. my nationals weren't as bad as this. I could cope with O's. why was this so difficult? I shouldn't fall.
and then I remembered that there was no one now that would catch me.
when I arrived home at about ten yesterday, so exhausted from training, my family was practically asleep and hardly acknowledged my presence. when I went into the kitchen, the dining table was empty. they didn't save me anything to eat that night. I guess they assumed I went out to eat or something.
Hungry, I went to bathe. When I went out, I went to my laptop to do my project work. At about two, I slept. I aimed to wake up at four so I could do my homework. when I woke up at six, all hell broke loose and I couldn't find anything. My assignments were undone, and I was completely unprepared for everything.
that's when I stopped rushing, fell to my knees and cried.
when I pulled myself together I went to meet syaf and I cried again because I was absolutely broken. nothing was coherent in my life anymore. for the first time in my life, I didn't want to feel the soft flow of tears on my cheeks. I couldn't show anyone, especially myself that I failed. I couldn't fall or shatter. I prayed for a salvation from all my woes.
why do we crumble?
help. I don't want to cry again.
I never once in my life felt such stress. my nationals weren't as bad as this. I could cope with O's. why was this so difficult? I shouldn't fall.
and then I remembered that there was no one now that would catch me.
self-proclamation.
My life is not a fascination worth the scrutiny of those who watch over me. Yet, I live amongst thin air and sparkling personalities.
I am an avid fan of the KoreanPop scene. So bring me to the number thirteen.
read my lips.
they're watching.
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