torture me with bright colours.

just an outlet.

Monday, September 28, 2009/9:24 PM

I don't need to have profound english to tell this to your face.

I'm tired of hiding behind shallow words. I am not superficial.
but how else can I make you understand? Do I have to keep stooping to your level?

Can't you just decide? Will you ever be happy with what you have?
No, I don't think so.

what's the rumpus, ace?

Sunday, September 27, 2009/10:37 PM

It's been a turmoil of a weekend. I am tired and hungry. yes hungry.I really need to take a break. I can't tomorrow because I have my chemistry consultation. ahh okay namira. Soon it will be over. OVERRR.

The F1 race was great don't you think? Singapore did a great job at pulling the whole thing off with a bang. Our government sure knows how to throw parties. It was such a snazzy weekend. Very booms. HAHAHHAHAHA. Yes yes I just found out about booms. It's hilarious. I so cannot believe she got arrested for credit card fraud. What a winky.

It's really cool that the news was pushed back because of the race. I wonder what kind of programme would call for a push back of the news to a later time. Definitely not Harry Potter. I can just imagine some cynical non-sports interested/inclined middle-aged man poised frustratedly in front of his TV wanting desperately to watch the news and cursing ever so often at the glaring lights of the F1 track. It's kind of funny when you think about it.

okay, I wanna go watch Full House some more.

[edit/] now that I re-read my blog post, I realize I sound obligated somehow. Weird. 0.o.[/edit]

I just don't know if I'm worth it for you anymore.

Friday, September 25, 2009/11:00 AM

I've been very sick lately. My mental capabilities have been seized temporarily by this paralyzing sickness I call probable H1N1. I was very worried that I'd manage to get attacked by the sickness so I went online just to be sure.

At yahoo, I typed in H1N1 symptoms and lo and behold.

H1N1 symptoms, flu (check), fever (check), cough(freaking check), body aches (check), vommiting etc.

ah WHATEVER. I always get paranoid about me getting diseases. I don't want to go to the doctor because its too expensive and my mother can use that money for better use like.... celery or something.

sigh. promos are going to be over soon. after thaat, I can drink coke until I die, I can go out until I die, I can go party until I die, I can go watch BoysOverFlowers and the SuperJunior movie Conniekins is going to lend to me until I die. Also, I can stay up all night talking until he kills me. well, that is if he'll still have me. I've not been a very good friend or whatever it is I am to him. One hour is just not enough.

ah crap. but HE has school.
isn't it funny how I am practically bed-ridden with diseases with a burning temperature and a persistent cough that this is the only thing I can think about?

selamat hari rayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Saturday, September 19, 2009/9:51 PM

to all of those celebrating this joyous occasion tomorrow,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

to all of those NOT celebrating this joyous occasion tomorrow,

study in the name of promos.

I love you because I have to,

Namira Nasir.

wake up charlie.

Thursday, September 17, 2009/8:51 PM

I'm going to be vacant for a few days.

I'll see you all when I see you.

tough times and chapped lips.

Monday, September 14, 2009/10:45 PM

Her lips quiver in the hot night. Her eyes anxious and her stride broken. Her facade is fading as her steps become weaker, as her nights become warmer. She begins to realise as she approaches, that his smile didn't catch her heart like it used to. Golden and oh how sweet charm had melted into a malicious, mysterious malovelence.

A want,
no,
A need,
no,
a desperate, unfleeting desire to be craved for and wanted, crawled inside her, threatening with each sliver to eat her alive and take whatever's left of her sanity until she's on her knees, begging for an escape from this manifestation of hell.

ugh. and I lost my creativity. I just needed something else to do other than chemistry.

to you, talk to me.

ALMOST PARADISE... *incoherent mumbling attempts at Korean*

Sunday, September 13, 2009/11:59 AM

fine. My blogger refuses to work so I'm just going to do this the hard, traditional and manual way. I think I'm at the Edit HTML part of the Create Post because the font is shit. I hope it doesn't turn out this way later on when I press the Publish button.

It's the end of the September Holidays already and I feel that I have accomplished quite alot. Well better than expected anyway. If I continue along in this 'streak' I would be able to finish my syllabus by... hmm I don't know.. April next year?

Oh well I shall halt my whining to write down all the topics I've relatively covered during the holidays:

Physics:
Kinematics
Motion in a Circle
Gravitational Field
Thermal Physics
Oscillations
(Topics Accomplished: 5/9)

Economics:
Market Imperfections
Market Structures
(there is no monetary value for this one.)

Chemistry:
Introduction to Organic Chemistry
Alkenes
Chemical Equillibrium
Redox
Mole Concept
(Topics Accomplished: you know what I don't even want to know anymore.)

Maths: (ahem ahem)
Equations and Inequalities.
(Topics Accomplished: hee hee.)

So I've definitely been 'busy' these past few days. heh heh. I really hope I can keep this spirit up. Because God knows I don't want to have to repeat this all over again.

Kim Hyun Joong sunbae, get well soon. Saranghaeyo.

Friday, September 11, 2009/8:54 PM

What Should I Do?- Ji Sun.
Boys Over Flowers Soundtrack.

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday.
I say I'm okay but you really don't know how I feel.
Do you think I'll be okay without you?
Are you okay without me?
The world without you is so hard that I blame myself for still breathing.

What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words.
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do.
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me.

Are we too late? Do we not have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this.
Finally is it this? Are we going to end like this? Is it okay with you?
I dont think I can do it. The love I find with you, I wont find it anywhere even if I die.

What should I do? If it isnt you no one else can hold my heart.
Please hold me. And you know that even though the whole world tries to.
No one can erase your memories. So please hold me.
What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words.
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do.
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me.

Is it too late? Do we not have a chance?
But me, I still think about you, and you might not know.

this is my favourite Korean sad, love song. It is by Ji Sun.
I just love it. It's so dramatic, albeit a tad desperate.
I guess this is what love does to people.

for the love of everything that starts with the letter A,

Thursday, September 10, 2009/8:23 PM

I CANNOT DO THIS. LAST NIGHT, I PROMISED MYSELF I WAS GOING TO STUDY AT NIGHT AND ENDED UP WATCHING BOYS OVER FLOWERS INSTEAD. I AM GOING INSANE FOR JIHOO SUNBAE. HONESTLY? IS THERE A BETTER DRAMA ANYWHERE? (and I swear, if you say gossip girl I am going to scream.)

NAMIRA, SNAP YOURSELF OUT OF IT. YOU CANNOT WATCH BOYS OVER FLOWERS BEFORE YOU STUDY BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU WON'T BECAUSE AFTER YOU WATCH IT AND HAVE A KOREAN HOT BOY OVERLOAD, YOU'D STRAIGHT AWAY GO TO SLEEP TO REINACT THE WHOLE THING IN YOUR DREAMS. NAMIRA RE-READ THAT PARAGRAPH AGAIN. YOU AREN'T EVEN GRAMATICALLY CORRECT.

I, Namira Binte Abdul Nasir,

student, daughter, sister, neighbour, cousin, etc,

Hereby do solemnly swear,

to take my Promotion Examinations seriously,

to think ahead before my actions,

to realise that by not promoting, I'd be committing suicide,

not only for myself but also for... actually yeah only for myself,

to always remember that if you don't graduate to J2, you'd be freaking disappointed,

and you'd probably hate yourself,

above all, you won't be in 09S104 anymore,

and of course, you would not be the Publicity I/C for the Phobos House Committe anymore,

see isn't that sad? I know right.

Henceforth, as an advocation for my new found determination to promote myself academically,

I will from this moment on, take the appropriate and precautionary measures.

I will, study at least five hours a day, even though that Chemistry teacher said that if you do not study at least 12 hours a day you'd probably die.

I will, not watch Boys Over Flowers before studying because as previously mentioned, that would be a substantial hinderance to my studying regime.

I will not play anymore Star Wars, Return of the Jedi on Hakim's PSP anymore because it is just such an awesome game and I get so easily hooked even though my stupid brother had to buy the Luke Skywalker Ghost character for one million studs which I now have to earn back if I ever want the Darth Vader character. (it's okay if you don't understand what I'm saying.)

Namira, please do not get distracted by Eunhyuk or any other boys because there is a time for everything.

Thanks bitch.

in the mood for longer goodbyes.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009/9:44 AM

I am supposed to be doing my chemical equilibrium lecture right now. After that I am supposed to jet over to the club (not zouk but as in my SIA Sports Club) to get some major studying down. But I guess I could spare some time for a short blog post.

I like studying alone. I suppose when I told people I like studying in groups, I lied. I cannot study with people, they distract me. Or I distract them. Either way, we'll just end up watching a movie or having lunch at City Hall and neglect the notes we brought. It's really funny when I look back and realise how much time I've been throwing away in 'study groups'. Don't get me wrong, some of the study groups I've been to were really effective but let's just say I am a very people person.

Talking to him yesterday, he asked me how I was like when I was younger. I began to think about the younger me. The shorter me. The Namira without the O'levels and the Promo jitters. I asked my mother about my younger me and she said that people really liked me because I never cried. Some stranger could pick me up when I was a baby and I wouldn't even make a sound. She also said that when I was a child, I liked to kiss people. This worried me a little because the idea of my publicly kissing random people just disturbs me. But this was the younger me. I'm sure I knew what I was doing.

Mother said that I was fat, smiling baby. She was right. As I flipped through my baby photos, all I saw was a big baby girl beaming up at me from the pictures. See this just shows that parents should start feeding Coke to their babies from an early age. Not too excessively, please.

hey you, wanna go for a study date?
to the rest of you, did I bore you again?

mazlan, mazlan where for art thou mazlan?

Tuesday, September 08, 2009/6:32 PM

today my dad came home from work bearing a white envelope. Eagerly, he opened the envelope hoping it was the government saying that they will reimburse all of his taxes and get a million dollars by the end of the week but sadly, it was merely a wedding invitation. A brown wedding invitation. With a disappointed sigh, he opened the invitation and read it.
Aghast and abruptly, he sat upright from his blue lounging chair, eyes awide. Everyone turned to look at him. Silence shrouded the living area other than the sound of Pocoyo telling the narrator that he is not afraid of the slide on the telly. Moments passed, and none of us moved. Unable to handle the suspense, I went over to his chair and took the invite from him.
oh it was such a pretty invite.
In gold embroided fonts at the front of the invitation, set in a discreet outline were the words:
You have been cordially invited to the wedding of Mazlan Bin Ahmed Roslee and...

*gasps*

...and Namira Binte Abdul Nasir.

the first thing I said was 'DAD DID YOU HOOK ME UP WITH ONE OF YOUR WORK PEOPLE?'
haha you all fell for my suspense didn't you? oh well. it was a good story.

thinking about the days when play was gay.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009/9:23 PM

UGH. I just posted a really long and BORING post just now. Here's an peek into what I was babbling about just now.

"today was a quiet day. I barely communicated at all unless in dire need like, 'mother, I'm going out.' or 'hakim, be quiet.' or 'nadia can you please pass me the chilli sauce.' I intended to post last night but I decided to forget the idea because it would have just sounded sad or melodramatic.
.

.
God blessed me today with a slight drizzle which was enough to keep my mind off somethings completely. Enough to wash away all the sorrow and insecurity that never seemed to go away. The great thing about leaving the house is you see beyond the four walls, and with that, you subconsciously see beyond yourself. Not to say that I see my house as a mental constraint, but sometimes, a little fresh air just blows away the boundaries you've lived by for so long. In a way, things start making sense."

OMG is it just me or am I getting BORING-ER?
I really do not like myself right now.
ee namira boring sampai last warning.

today was fine everything was fine my life is fine so what's there to know? that's the only part of my that you know of. the FINE part.

self-proclamation.

My life is not a fascination worth the scrutiny of those who watch over me. Yet, I live amongst thin air and sparkling personalities. I am an avid fan of the KoreanPop scene. So bring me to the number thirteen.

read my lips.

they're watching.

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