Well yesterday didn't exactly go as planned but I loved every single minute anyway. Thank you syafiqah and siska for hearing me out. Thank you siska for letting me shop with you and not losing your patience with me. I really really like those jeans. I'll pass you the red stretch belt and my beanie another day.

studying in the afternoon today, God please give me strength.

Pass me the love, chest popper.

I've been considering moving to another website to write stuff. Not because I hate blogger or anything, it's just that I think I want a cleaner, clearer space. It's like, I'll be living in another house but this room is still up for rent. Ok that didn't make sense so whatever.

I've been M.I.A recently because I have really no strength to blog anymore neither was I in singapore to blog. I was at malaysia with my family being really random as always and lunging into oversea vacations in the middle of the week.

I've checked my feeling inventory and it says that I have no feelings whatsoever. It changes so drastically so often that it's driving me insane. I'm sad, happy, excited, at loss or angry so many times in a day. I just want to hit myself. Namira, stick with one feeling. I'll blog later I have to bathe now.

I feel so happy at night. At night, when everyone is sleeping, I creep out of my bedroom and switch on my laptop like a naughty little girl who doesn't know what bedtime means. I grab my peanut butter jar and a spoon, flick on youtube and enjoy my favourite Korean dramas. When I feel brave enough, I multi-task. I chat with my friends online and instantly, my peanut butter becomes sweeter.

There's something about the night, and the way it has all the things I like.

The wind knocks gently on the window of a room as small as me. I force myself not to look up; not to be tempted and seduced by the magic of day and to focus on the intricate cracks on my wall.

I close my eyes and imagine my angel around me. My fingers grasp the sides of my chair tightly, determined not to let the memory go. I open my eyes and there he is. Standing by the window and fingering the lace of my curtains.

I don't let go of my chair, I don't breathe. I fear the harshness of my whisper would blow him away. Already his figure was so wispy and wistful, almost translucent next to the sunlight that pierced through the panes of my window. I begin to cry, knowing that somewhere, evil angels were going to take him away.

He was by my side in an instant, his arm wrapped warmly around my shoulder. I pushed him away. The action tore at my heart, and killed me a bit inside. I stood up and walked to my dresser, careful not to limp. Not to show how I weak I was without his embrace. I gazed at myself in the mirror, not searching for anything. Just an excuse to avoid his now deadly curious and suspicious eye.

'What are you doing?'
'Just stay where you are. Don't come any closer.'
'What if I did?'
'Just don't. You're really bad you know. Who do you think you are?'
'You are the funniest person in the world.'

Stubborn asshole stood up in a flourish and placed his hands on my shoulders, and his lips near my ear. My efforts to stand up were dimmed by his strength. He stared at me through the mirror. At my trembling lips, at my scarlet cheeks, at my flooded eyes.

'Why are you crying?'
'Why are you asking me so many questions? Go away.'
'No I like it here. I want to stay. Now be quiet I want to sleep.'
'On my shoulder?! It's going to hurt.'
'Yeah I know your shoulder is so bony. But it's okay.'
'Yeah your fat head will cushion it for you.'





At that point of time I woke up laughing. Wow, funny how dreams are so damn real!

I've been listening to my Super Junior albums recently. I've realised that I've never purchased an album and truly loved it before this. You might be saying that I'm biased towards their astonishingly good looks but I've been listening to their music, not watching music videos.

I even have songs for different occasions. For instance, I listen to some songs when I'm getting ready and when I'm going to sleep. When I feel like crying, I listen to this one song that's truly a heartbreaker. It's called 'Let's Not' and it's a break-up song. When I first heard the song, unaware of it's true meaning, my heart ached listening to them singing so sadly. When I finally found out that it was a break-up song, I wanted to slap the SUJU boys for being such heartbreakers.

There is something ferociously wrong with me. I don't know if you'd classify it as a real problem but to me, it really is. You see, music is my thing right? I might not be the best singer or dancer, but I sure do worship music. SO whether I'm online, or simply walking to school, music MUST be my faithful companion.

So I have encountered a problem recently. It's not a big issue I assure you. I just feel like talking about it that's all. When I'm online and I find an insanely sick new song that I instantly fall in love with, (like right now it's Again and Again by 2pm which isn't exactly new but to me it is.) I listen to it over and over and over again. AND I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH IT. It comes to the point whereby I have to get that song in my phone because it's so addictive.

AND THEN, once it gets into my phone, I STILL DON'T STOP LISTENING TO IT BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Then I listen to it so much that I get slightly bored of it but I do not love it any less. Then I go online, and do my online stuff (??). BUT WHAT'S GOING TO BE MY NEW BACKGROUND MUSIC NOW? What used to be my favourite song has already been ingrained in my mind so I can't use that song. SO WHAT WILL BE?

HAHA when I read this over, I realise it simply doesn't make sense. Oh well.
I love to invent problems for myself. Or problems simply crash into me.
Either way, go away.

I live in a quiet white building. It used to be red, but as it faded with time, it looked more like maroon than red. Now it's white because the maroon building disappointed all its residents. Now, I live in a quiet white hospital.

I've never once had a feather of a dream of moving to any place different. I love this white building. It stands tall and proud on a hill, overlooking a miniscule forest and a never ending span of blue sky. I live amongst the sweetest of hearts and the most welcoming of embraces.

I live on the fifth floor on this eight-storey, white building. I take a lift, because the word elevator is too cumbersome, that doesn't reach the top floor. When I was younger, I used to think that the top floor was set aside so that ghosts and angels could stay inside. Since agitated ghosts aren't the friendliest of companies and angels were too amazingly mystical to be disturbed, the people who constructed this building ensured that no one could reach the eighth floor and bother those misty characters.

To my left, lived a suave family with a modern home. Their door was grand and made out of polished wood with a conspicuous gold handle. Parquet floors and glass table tops always trigger a jazz song playing in my head. In this very home lived the boy next door.

The boy next door is skinny and always wear shorts. He's really smart and never invites his friends over. When we were younger and when I was naive, I used to play soccer with him. Just the two of us. He let me kick the ball, in my attempt to score a goal, two metres away from his goalkeeper stance. He'd catch it anyway because he is really fast and skinny people do not need to exert much of a force to fly through the air.

One day, I was watering orchids outside and I saw him walk by. He looked at me and I waved at him. A little smirk was his only response. With a rushed jingle of his keys, he was inside.

It was on that day that I vowed that I would make the boy next door fall in love with me. How is it going so far? Only the walls of my white hospital will know. Until it's next paintjob, I pray they don't disappoint me again.





GOD I am so bored.

Oh my GOD I just had to upload this picture it is just so epic. We spent one whole day working on that 'ship', when it looks more like a boat or a dinghy to me. SIGH sadly though, our beloved boat tore in half. Thank goodness it tore only after the filming. Otherwise, our perfect filming would have been destroyed. Thank you PHOBOS HOUSE COMMITTEE for a lovely day out.

Today I watched NEWMOON with Syafiqah and Siska. Before you big fat cynics, yes you, start saying 'OMG you just watched new moon? HOW SLOW CAN YOU GET? I watched it when it came out sehhh. I'm so cooool.' let me first say that it turned out to be for the better since there were a significantly small number of people in the theatre. So yeah. IN YOUR FACE.

I loved it. It was really romantic and the acting was really good. Furthermore, it was super super super fun because I watched it with Syafiqah and Siska. I'm really glad I chose to watch it with them first before anyone else. We were like the noisiest ones in the theatre. We were literally commenting at each scene. 'OMG Bella is such a bitch.' 'JACOB IS SO HOT.' 'EDWARD IS SO HOT.' 'OMG HARRY CLEARWATER IS SO CUTE HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE JAPANESE MAN HE IS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER.'

By the way, the last comment was by Syafiqah.

let's do it again girls. ;)

I am currently eating my fifth packet of curry-flavoured Maggie Mee this week. Wait.. No it's not the fifth packet. It's the.. oh my goodness. I've eaten nine packets of maggie mee in a week. I am going to die seriously. This is bad for my health. Oh well. At least the first five packets had the healthier choice label on it. I don't know why though. That is the most ironic thing in the world.

The downside is I think I'm gaining weight. My aunt came up to me yesterday, by the way my aunt is seventeen too, and told me I was fat. Astonished, I clutched my belly and lo and behold, I felt fatter. I didn't see much of a difference in the mirror, but darn did I feel those seven maggie mee packets all of a sudden. Freaking hell I have to go to the gym later. GO TO THE GYM NAMIRA.

Ugh, my noodles don't even taste nice anymore. Sheesh.

I went to the gym on thursday for an evening workout just to see whether I would faint after three minutes of exercising. Surprisingly, this was the most benefitial trip to the gym I have ever taken. When I first stepped in, there were like a dozen men on testosterone overload doing mega sit ups and lifting weights. Immediately I felt deflated. How could I compete? I am just a seventeen year old who hates any form of physical activity, other than dance, and snacks on instant noodles and coca cola for a living.

I hate the gym.

I spent a really long time stretching because I wanted to postpone the humiliation for as long as possible. And thanks to dance, I was the best stretcher (not the ambulance stretcher) in the gym. All those men were just doing shoulder stretches. More imaginative ones were doing lunges. I was doing body twists and splits. HEEHEE. I had established my presense and reputation in the gym.

After stretching every limb in my body, I braved to attempt the bicycle thingys. Okay I don't know the name of the gym equipment kay so sue me. I pressed quick start and DAMN IT WAS REALLY FUN. It was just like cycling but you weren't going anywhere. You just cycled and cycled until the time is up which I did! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I wish I could stay on the cycling things forever but I couldn't. People don't go to the gym to cycle only.

I hated treadmills. I still do. So I avoided that. There is this one machine which is sort of like cycling. I mean you move your feet in a circle but you're standing up and your hands are holding these two poles that move at a proportional speed as your feet are. Okay I don't know the name alright? Gym speak is beyond me.

So yeah I tried that and again, I impressed myself. I did it for forty whole minutes! AND WITHOUT MUSIC OOH OOH I FORGOT TO MENTION THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. If you are my best friend or just know me, you would know that music is my life and I go nowhere without it. It's just this whole issue with being able to choose what my ears sense that makes me feel safe and comfortable with my surroundings.

But due to unforseen predicaments,(my earphones disappeared again. I had to buy new ones again.) I had to do without music. Until the last ten minutes when my sister came up to me offering me her psp which I so gratefully took from her. I SPAMMED SUPER JUNIOR MUSIC IMMEDIATELY, and adrenaline began pumping through my veins. I swear I felt like an adrenaline junkie. I went so fast it was amazing. Then my friend who I used to see all the time at the club but didn't recently because of stupid promos which banned me any visit to the sports club came up to say hi.

When I saw her I screamed 'OH MY GOD NISHA I SPENT A WHOLE HOUR IN THE GYM AND I DIDN'T DIE.' She was baffled and didn't say anything for ten seconds. I swear some of the incredible hulks in the background was clapping.

I like the gym now. I can't wait to go later. WOO.

I'll really blog when I have something to talk about but really, I don't. I guess I need an earth-shattering event to bring me out of my blogging siesta which has been reoccuring since, God knows when. I've been spending my time in front of the Korean channel alot and at times, feel sad that I had to depart from the glorious country.

My life is not a fascination worth the scrutiny of those who watch over me. Yet, I live amongst thin air and sparkling personalities. I am an avid fan of the KoreanPop scene. So bring me to the number thirteen.

♥♥

HULABAGI

♥

Siska(HU)

♥

Mary(LA)

♥

Syaf(BA)

♥

OMG09S104!

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